Have Courage and Be Kind

One thing that I've began to notice when I creative these wonderfully detailed posts of how my life is going is that I always manage to focus on the negative aspects of my life. I'm going to be the first to admit that I've always saw myself as a bit of a pessimist, which isn't the way I want to look at life.

My life is full of far more beautiful things than I sometimes think.

I sit here dwelling on the fact that one of my closest friends has basically abandoned me with no warning in a time I could of done with their support. I need to stop myself from thinking that I have probably done something to deserve this because I have done everything in my power to try and keep the friendship alive. This doesn't mean I'm not good enough, and I shouldn't see this as a massive loss for me. I would like to think that I am being the better person here because I have tried time and time again, with no response. Another thing I seem to concentrate on is how much I dislike my job, how much I dread waking up in the morning and spending 11 hours in the office. I just despise how people can treat another human being like something they have just stepped on. I have always tried to do everything in my life with kindness, and I would never just disregard someones feelings. I guess this is why I find it so hard to understand, not everyone has the same morals, some think they are better than others, and most only care about getting everything in their life for free. Again, I shouldn't think so negatively about this, I should think about how I can go to bed smiling because no matter how someone speaks to me, I will always smother them with kindness, making me the better person.

These are the kinds of things I find myself constantly focusing on, but alas, I say no more!

Life is all about happiness, being happy, and spreading happiness. When I take a good look at my life, when I way up the pros and the cons, I actually begin to realise that I am pretty content with my life. In a way, I have everything I have always wanted, a devoted partner, full time income, a house to call my own, and some time to do the things I love to do.

Once upon a time I thought that I knew everything about the world and what it had to offer, but then I realised I'm just a dreamer. I have spent my life thinking that all I needed to do to become that big time director was go to college and then to university, and then I'd have a beautiful degree and the job of my dreams. It was never going to be that simple, I had spent too long believing people when they told me that's all I'd need to do for this to happen.

I think I'm always going to be a ball of stress, I'm always going to be a rollercoaster of emotions,  and I don't see myself being decisive anytime soon. I'm just afraid of making the wrong decisions, I'm afraid of disappointing those that I love, and I constantly let my own insecurities get the better of me.

Little did I know that I already have everything I always wanted.

It's time to focus on the positives!

• I have a devoted life partner that gives me everything I need, although I probably take him for granted. I never imagined that I would find someone as perfect for me as he is. I have found someone who truly accepts me for who I am, and I have never felt so much love and appreciation. 

• My family and extended family are more than I could ever ask for. I have a group of people that I can go to with all of my problems, a group that I would trust with my life. I have never met so many people that encourage and inspire me.

• I have a job. It's not what I have worked for, but it's something to fill my days, a way for me to pay my bills, buy books, and go on the occasional adventure. 

• Speaking of adventure, I'm going to Rome very soon!

• I'm making plans for the future. Whether that be planning a holiday, picking out new furniture or deciding whether our house if big enough for the family we will one day raise here. 

When I take the time to think about it I come to the realisation that my life is pretty damn good! It can be hard to list the positive parts of your life, but I listed those without even thinking about it, and if I took the time to think I could probably come up with a lot more. 

Life isn't about everything being perfect, sometimes it's just about making the most of what you have. 

Things can take time, which is something life is made up of. It's time to focus on the positives and becoming the best version of myself I can truly be.